Reflection

I had the ultimate best intentions of regularly recording my thoughts and inspirations. I really did. The coolest insights will pop into my head, ranging anywhere from something I read, my quiet time, parenting experiences, life parallels. I’ll make a note on a scrap piece of paper or in my day planner, make a note in my phone, email myself…but when I actually get around a computer when I am done with, well…anyway – I guess I am never really “done” with anything. I am realizing lately that is part of the problem. Life is continual, a present active participle. No matter what phase of life you happen to be in, there is always something just around the corner: an assignment, a work task, a chore, a date, an event, a need. And I found myself waiting for “the right time”. Through some eye-opening and sometimes challenging events, I am learning that “done” will most likely never be. Getting together with that friend; cleaning out that closet; trying a craft or project; apologizing and forgiving; self-care; speaking your heart and mind. These things need to be “done” regardless of whether the conditional aspects in your mind are “done”.

So I am “done” putting off my desire to record my thoughts. Mary, the mother of Jesus, is noted more than once as treasuring all these things and pondering them in her heart. I do that for sure. It’s how we moms carry the burdens for our children: feeling their pain, praying for them in their delights and their struggles, preparing for them to become adults. But I want to do more than ponder. My brain’s hard drive is quickly filling up and crashing more often lately, and I want to remember.

I chose my blog’s name because I wanted to record the significant things that were going on around me. I wanted my journaling to be as much of a reminder of that day’s journey. Below is copied from dictionary.com on the word “reflection”:

1. the act of reflecting, as in casting back a light or heat, mirroring, or giving back or showing an image; the state of being reflected in this way.
2. an image; representation; counterpart.
3. a fixing of the thoughts on something; careful consideration.
4. a thought occurring in consideration or meditation.
5. an unfavorable remark or observation.
6. the casting of some imputation or reproach.
The first four items is what I loftily saw myself doing. The last 2 are what often comes flying out of my mouth should someone asks how I am or how my day was. Now, there will certainly be times that #s 5 and 6 are a direct reality to the first 4, but I don’t always have to see them that way completely. And I shouldn’t. My son posted (on the wall, not online) the following quote: Every morning I have a choice, I simply choose to be positive. Well, I think ending the day on a positive note is just as important. There is just too much negativity readily available to depress me and overwhelm me.
So, the posts may be short. They may be run-on in nature. But I am determining to mirror, represent, and carefully consider, even in the midst of unfavorable observations and reproaches. 🙂
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